Trying to Conceive and Not Getting Pregnant: Emotional Support, Coping Strategies & Therapy in Northern Colorado

Trying to conceive — whether you’re just starting or have been trying for months (or even years) — can be one of the most emotionally intense chapters of a woman’s life. You’re not just navigating timing and biology, you’re navigating hope, fear, disappointment, identity, relationships, and self-worth. When cycles come and go without the outcome you hoped for, the emotional toll can be heavy, confusing, and deeply isolating.

If you’re a woman in Northern Colorado, especially in communities like Fort Collins, Loveland, Greeley, or Boulder, you may find that resources are focused on the physical side of fertility — reproductive endocrinologists, OB-GYNs, IVF clinics, but not enough on the emotional side. That’s where therapy and emotional support become invaluable.

In this blog, we’ll explore why trying to conceive (TTC) can feel so hard emotionally, common psychological challenges families face, how therapy supports women and couples through this journey, and practical strategies for staying grounded, resilient, and hopeful even when the waiting feels endless.

Why Trying to Conceive Is More Than a Physical Process

At first, trying to conceive seems straightforward in theory: you track your cycle, time ovulation, and hope it works. But for many women and couples, it quickly becomes complicated emotionally.

For example:

• Expectations don’t match reality

• Friends or family become pregnant easily

• Every cycle feels like a countdown

• Medical check-ups bring hope followed by waiting

• Phone notifications become stress triggers

Psychologists describe this experience as ambiguous loss — a loss without closure, which can create significant anxiety and emotional distress (Boss, 2004). When the outcome is uncertain and your hopes are repeatedly unmet, your nervous system doesn’t get the clarity it needs to regulate emotionally.

Common Emotional Challenges of TTC

Trying to conceive impacts emotions in very real ways. Women (and couples) often report:

1. Anxiety and Hypervigilance

You may find yourself obsessively tracking ovulation, temperature, cycle dates, tests, and symptoms. This kind of hypervigilance is an instinctive nervous system response when you’re trying to control outcomes that are inherently uncontrollable.

2. Grief and Loss

Every negative cycle, every period, and every postponed pregnancy test can feel like a loss , even before there was a baby to lose. This experience falls under what researchers describe as perinatal loss stress (Gold et al., 2016).

3. Relationship Strain

Partners often respond differently to the stress of TTC. One might be hopeful and positive, while the other is anxious or withdrawn. These differences can create misunderstandings, emotional distance, or conflict.

4. Comparison and Isolation

Seeing friends, coworkers, or social media feeds filled with pregnancy announcements can create intense emotional reactions. Many women report feeling alone in their struggle even when surrounded by supportive people.

5. Identity Disruption

For many women, reproductive potential is tied to self-identity and life expectations. When pregnancy doesn’t happen as expected, it can shake core beliefs about self-worth, femininity, and future planning.

These emotional challenges are real, common, and deserving of support.

When Trying to Conceive Becomes Infertility

The medical term “infertility” is often defined as not conceiving after one year of unprotected sex if you’re under 35, or after six months if you’re over 35 (ASRM, 2022). But regardless of where you are in your TTC journey, whether it’s just beginning or years in, the emotional challenges can be significant.

Medical language (like “failure to conceive” or “infertility diagnosis”) can also unintentionally increase emotional distress. Research consistently notes that infertility and difficulty conceiving are associated with anxiety, depression, and relationship challenges (Verhaak et al., 2007).

It’s important to know that the emotional experience of this exists from the first time your period comes without a positive test.

Therapy: A Solution for the Emotional Side of TTC

One of the most powerful resources that’s often not talked about enough is therapeutic support.

Therapy can help in several key ways:

1. Regulation of the Nervous System

Trying to conceive repeatedly activates your nervous system especially when outcomes are uncertain. A therapist can help you build emotional regulation skills so anxiety doesn’t hijack your relationships, decisions, or daily functioning.

Techniques like breathwork, somatic awareness, and grounding exercises help your nervous system shift out of constant hypervigilance.

2. Identification and Processing of Unspoken Grief

Not everyone acknowledges that TTC can feel like grief, a loss of expectation, a loss of time, a loss of identity. Therapy provides a space where you can name and process these feelings without minimizing them.

This isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about understanding and integrating your emotional experience.

3. Cognitive Reframing and Thought Work

When cycles don’t go the way you hoped, negative thoughts can escalate quickly:

• “There must be something wrong with me.”

• “I can’t handle another cycle.”

• “Why is this happening to us?”

Therapists trained in cognitive behavioral techniques help you reframe these unhelpful thoughts.

4. Relationship Support

Whether you’re single or partnered, trying to conceive can affect your connection with others. Couples therapy helps partners align in communication, expectations, coping strategies, and emotional support.

TTC isn't just one person’s emotional journey—it's relational and systemic.

5. Reducing Shame and Isolation

Many women feel shame or embarrassment about not getting pregnant “on schedule.” This shame is a cultural burden — not a personal flaw.

Therapy helps dismantle internalized shame and replace it with compassion and self-trust.

Northern Colorado Therapy Support for Women Trying to Conceive

If you’re in Northern Colorado, including:

• Fort Collins

• Loveland

• Greeley

• Longmont

• Boulder

…and you’re seeking support while trying to conceive, therapy can help you navigate the emotional experience.

At The Bloomhouse Women’s Counseling Collective, we specialize in supporting women through:

• anxiety related to fertility challenges

• relationship stress during trying to conceive

• identity shifts and self-worth concerns

• grief, loss, and emotional overhead

• attachment wounds that show up during uncertainty

We offer both in-office therapy in Fort Collins and secure online counseling for women across Colorado.

Practical Ways to Cope While Trying to Conceive

Therapy is a powerful support — but here are everyday strategies that many women find helpful as well:

1. Create Emotional Awareness

Journal or reflect on your emotional patterns rather than simply reacting to them. Awareness builds choice.

2. Pause the Clock

When every cycle feels like a deadline, your nervous system stays on alert. Creating space instead of urgency helps reduce anxiety.

3. Build Supportive Community

Seek support groups, connection with friends who understand, or peer communities where you can share honestly without judgment.

4. Set Boundaries Around Social Media

Seeing curated pregnancy announcements can intensify feelings of scarcity and comparison. It’s okay to limit exposure.

5. Ask for Help

Let your partner, friend, or therapist know how you need emotional support — even if it’s simply “just listen.”

These strategies help your system feel less alone in the emotional load.

When to Seek Therapy

Therapy can be especially helpful if you:

• Notice persistent anxiety around cycles

• Experience depression or loss of enjoyment

• Feel relationship strain due to fertility stress

• Struggle with self-worth or shame

• Have a past trauma triggered by TTC processes

Therapy isn’t just for crisis — it’s a space for growth, meaning-making, regulation, and empowerment.

About the Author

Kelly Sinning, MA, LPC, is a therapist and co-founder of The Bloomhouse Women’s Counseling Collective in Fort Collins, Colorado. She is passionate about supporting women through life transitions, motherhood, anxiety, relationship challenges, and identity shifts. Kelly’s approach is compassionate, collaborative, and grounded in helping clients feel truly seen and supported as they work toward emotional healing and meaningful change. She provides therapy to clients in Colorado and is dedicated to creating a safe, affirming space for women across the lifespan.

Reference List

American Society for Reproductive Medicine. (2022). Definitions of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss.
https://www.asrm.org/news-and-publications/definitions-of-infertility-and-recurrent-pregnancy-loss/

Boss, P. (2004). Ambiguous loss: Learning to live with unresolved grief. Harvard University Press.

Gold, K. J., Sen, A., & Hayward, R. (2016). Marriage and relationship outcomes after pregnancy loss. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 128(4), 743–750.
https://doi.org/10.1097/AOG.0000000000001678

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Verhaak, C. M., Smeenk, J. M., Evers, A. W., et al. (2007). Women’s emotional adjustment to IVF: A systematic review of 25 years of research. Human Reproduction Update, 13(1), 27–36.
https://doi.org/10.1093/humupd/dml040