When Mother’s Day Is Hard: Support for Grief, Infertility & Complex Motherhood Emotions in Northern Colorado
Mother’s Day is often portrayed as a joyful, celebratory holiday full of flowers, brunches, and gratitude. But for many women, Mother’s Day brings something much more complicated. If you’ve ever felt a heaviness leading up to this day…If you’ve found yourself avoiding social media or dreading family gatherings…If you’ve thought, “Why does this feel so hard for me?”
You are not alone.
For many women in Northern Colorado, Mother’s Day can surface grief, longing, stress, and unresolved emotions tied to:
infertility or trying to conceive
pregnancy or infant loss
loss of your own mother
complicated or painful relationships with your mother
healing your own attachment wounds while parenting
This blog is here to name that experience and to offer support, understanding, and real pathways toward healing.
Why Mother’s Day Can Feel So Difficult
Mother’s Day is what therapists often call a “triggering date”, or a time that amplifies emotional experiences tied to identity, relationships, and loss. Research shows that anniversaries and symbolic dates can intensify grief and emotional distress, particularly when loss or unresolved relational wounds are present. The challenge is this: while the world celebrates, your internal experience may feel completely different. And that disconnect can feel incredibly isolating.
For Women Experiencing Infertility or Trying to Conceive
If you’re trying to conceive and it hasn’t happened yet, Mother’s Day can feel like a spotlight on what’s missing.
You might notice:
waves of grief or disappointment
comparison to others
feelings of inadequacy or self-blame
anxiety about the future
Infertility and fertility challenges are strongly linked to increased levels of anxiety, depression, and emotional distress (Verhaak et al., 2007). And yet, this grief often goes unrecognized by others. Because it’s not always visible. Because there’s no clear timeline. And because people don’t always know what to say.
For Women Navigating Pregnancy or Infant Loss
If you’ve experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, Mother’s Day can bring a profound kind of grief. A grief that says: “I am a mother, but I don’t get to parent in the way I imagined.” Research shows that pregnancy loss can have lasting psychological effects, including depression, anxiety, and complicated grief responses (Gold et al., 2016). Mother’s Day can intensify that grief by highlighting both love and loss at the same time.
For Women Who Have Lost Their Own Mother
If your mother has passed away, this day can bring a mix of:
sadness
longing
nostalgia
unresolved feelings
Even if your relationship was loving, or complicated, Mother’s Day can reopen emotional space around that relationship. Grief is not linear, and meaningful dates often reawaken it.
For Women With Complicated Mother Relationships
Not every mother-daughter relationship feels safe, supportive, or nurturing.
Mother’s Day can feel confusing if you grew up with:
emotional neglect
Abuse
inconsistency
criticism
or unmet needs
You may feel guilt for not wanting to celebrate, or a pressure to perform gratitude, and sadness for what you didn’t receive. Attachment research shows that early caregiving relationships deeply shape emotional patterns, self-worth, and relational expectations in adulthood (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016). So when that relationship was painful, Mother’s Day can bring those wounds back to the surface.
For Moms Doing the Work to Heal While Parenting
There’s another group of women who often struggle silently on Mother’s Day: Moms who are actively working to parent differently than they were parented.
You might be:
breaking generational cycles
healing your insecure attachment
doing therapy work while raising kids
And that is hard. It’s beautiful…but it’s also emotionally demanding.
You’re holding your child’s needs, your own healing, and often the absence of the support you needed growing up. That deserves a special recognition.
Feeling Alone, Overwhelmed, or “Different”
Across all of these experiences, there’s a common thread: You can feel alone in something that many other women are also experiencing. And when emotions go unnamed or unsupported, they tend to:
intensify
turn inward as self-criticism
or show up as anxiety, irritability, or shutdown
That’s where support matters.
Therapy That Holds the Full Picture
At The Bloomhouse Women’s Counseling Collective (www.thebloomhousecounseling.com), we specialize in supporting women through exactly these kinds of experiences.
Not just the surface-level emotions, but the deeper layers underneath.
We work with women across Fort Collins and Northern Colorado navigating:
infertility and TTC emotional support
pregnancy and infant loss
grief and loss of a parent
complex mother-daughter relationships
attachment wounds
motherhood identity and emotional overwhelm
How Therapy Helps During Difficult Seasons Like Mother’s Day
1. Naming and Validating Your Experience
One of the most powerful things therapy offers is this: Language for what you’re feeling. Research shows that naming emotions reduces distress and increases emotional regulation (Kross & Grossmann, 2012). You don’t have to minimize or explain away your experience.
2. Regulating the Nervous System
When emotionally triggering dates arise, your body often responds before your mind does.
Therapy helps you:
recognize triggers
regulate emotional responses
create internal safety
This is especially important for women with attachment wounds or trauma histories.
3. Processing Grief and Unresolved Emotions
Whether it’s infertility, loss, or relational pain, therapy creates space to:
process grief at your own pace
integrate past experiences
reduce emotional intensity over time
4. Building Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism
Many women default to thoughts like:
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“Why can’t I just enjoy this day?”
Therapy helps shift that into:
understanding
compassion
emotional permission
Self-compassion has been strongly linked to improved mental health outcomes and resilience (Neff, 2003).
5. Creating a Plan for Navigating the Day
Instead of just “getting through” Mother’s Day, therapy helps you intentionally decide:
What you need
What you don’t want to do
How to care for yourself
This might include setting boundaries, planning supportive activities, limiting triggering environments, and/or creating your own meaning around the day
You Are Not Alone in This
If Mother’s Day feels hard for you in any way, that does not mean something is wrong with you. It means something in your story matters. It means there are emotions that deserve attention, care, and support; and you don’t have to navigate that alone.
Support for Women in Northern Colorado
At The Bloomhouse Women’s Counseling Collective, we offer both in-person therapy in Fort Collins and virtual therapy across Colorado.
Our work is:
Attachment-based
Trauma-informed
rooted in real-life experiences of women and moms
focused on both healing and practical tools
If this season is bringing up more than you expected, therapy can help you feel more grounded, supported, and understood.
Learn more or schedule at:www.thebloomhousecounseling.com
About the Author
Hannah Dorsher, MA, LPC, NCC, CAT, EMDR is a therapist, relationship, and attachment coach based in Fort Collins, Colorado and the co-founder of The Bloomhouse Women’s Counseling Collective. Hannah specializes in working with women and mothers navigating attachment, relationship struggles, anxiety, perfectionism, birth trauma, and the emotional transitions of motherhood. Her work is rooted in attachment theory, trauma-informed care, and nervous system regulation, with a compassionate, down-to-earth approach that helps clients feel safe, understood, and empowered. Hannah provides therapy to clients throughout Colorado and Florida and offers attachment-based coaching and educational resources for women and moms worldwide. Reach out to her here.
APA References (With Links)
Gold, K. J., Sen, A., & Hayward, R. A. (2016). Marriage and cohabitaiton outcomes after pregnancy loss. Pediatrics. 2010 Apr 5;125(5):e1202–e1207. doi:10.1542/peds.2009-3081
Kross, E., & Grossmann, I. (2012). Boosting wisdom: Distance from the self enhances wise reasoning. Journal of Experimental Psychology.https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-13461-001
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood. Guilford Press. https://www.guilford.com/books/Attachment-in-Adulthood/Mikulincer-Shaver/9781462525544
Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity.https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309027
